blog of testiclese this is where the shit went down, but before you got here

[Before the start of this anecdote, there is some knowledge that needs to be shared, please read over the facts, and then continue down to enjoy my tale.]

Definitions:

• Ultimate Frisbee – a game for hippies involving a lot of chasing a spinning disc and smoking drugs.
• Swing / Dump – a maneuver in the game of Ultimate Frisbee in which the disc is thrown not forwards into risk, but backwords, towards safety and control.

[Thus begins our tale.]

I was at an Ultimate Frisbee tournament this weekend, on a team full of hooligans. While we weren’t running amok on the field, we were cheering on our teammates from the sidelines, offering suggestions of “HAMMER!” and “SWING!” or perhaps the occassional “CHILLY CHILLY!” These are all moderately helpful, or at least appropriate suggestions for the game of Ultimate Frisbee. I am not certain as to how the following events started, but I can say with a fair amount of shame, that I found myself caught up in the bedlam, instead of perhaps attempting to settling the raucous crowd. The second most commonly shouted phrase in Ultimate Frisbee is the call of “swing.” This first most common phrase is, “pass that shit over here!” In any event, one of the cohorts on the team of JJ’s Dynomite in a relapse to the third grade, suddenly realized the connection between the phrase “use your dump” and “take a dump” — with disastrous results. Soon everyone, or at least, three of us, were yelling at every opportunity, to “take a dump.” I apologize if there were any sensitive ears present, but I place full blame on the public school system.