blog of testiclese this is where the shit went down, but before you got here

I was elated to check my electronic mail inbox over the weekend to find this message waiting for me:

Congratulations Inebriated People Inc. ,

The Small Business Commerce Association (SBCA) is pleased to announce that Inebriated People Inc. has been selected for the 2010 Best of Business Award in the Unclassified category.

The SBCA Best of Business Award Program recognizes the best of small businesses throughout the country. Using consumer feedback and other research, the SBCA identifies companies that we believe have demonstrated what makes small businesses a vital part of the American economy. The selection committee chooses the award winners from nominees based off information taken from monthly surveys administered by the SBCA, a review of consumer rankings, and other consumer reports . Award winners are a valuable asset to their community and exemplify what makes small businesses great.

A copy of your press release is available on the SBCA awards website listed below. SBCA herby grants Inebriated People Inc. a non-exclusive, revocable, license to use, copy, publish, stream, publicly display, reformat, excerpt, and distribute this press release. If you desire, a 2010 Best of Business Award has been designed for your place of business and can be obtained by pressing the receive awards tab while retrieving your press release from the SBCA awards website. Additionally, a Web Logo proclaiming your 2010 Best of Business Award selection can be obtained through our website as well.

Scott: i’d turn gay for one of those
TJ: it’s only $450
Scott: oh
umm
wwell

(re:  http://gizmodo.com/5309336/spherical-watch-tells-time-or-makes-you-spill-secret-rebel-base-location)

Technology moves along, perhaps not as fast as I’d like, but good job anyway, humankind.  The stunning part of this gizmo is its severe lack of size.  I’m in no mood to go all “I remember modems” on this, but good lord, how far we’ve come.  We’re still two sea-shells short of the three sea-shells, but I welcome our future of gadgets and gizmos, and extravagance of the unnecessary variety.

I have one of those events coming up, let’s call it my special day.  There will be a gathering of people, and a dinner.  The place that we’re going gives me options that I’m not quite ready to tackle.  There is a mostly well known fact, that I really enjoy ice cream, particularly when it comes in the form of a shake or malt.  I’m also a fan of adult beverages, primarily beer, especially in a celebratory fashion.  Here’s where the problem comes in; on most days, it’s only socially acceptable to order one type of beverage with dinner, but the place we’re going to offers both.  The first thing that occurred to me was, it’s my damn day, why can’t I have both?  Once again I’m teetering on the edge of good taste and humanity, letting my impulses push me away from social norms that I merely breeze by before crushing them with two glasses, one filled with beer, and one filled with milk and ice cream blended deliciously together.

I woke up this morning, and as I was working from home, I had plenty of time to eat a delicious breakfast.  I set my eyes on the prize, Cap’n Crunch’s Peanut Butter Crunch.  One of the joys of growing up is feeling like a kid again, and sugary breakfast cereals are an instant flashback to childhood.  Things then seemed so much bigger, so when I grab a giant bowl and fill it with the nearly worthless puffed corn cereal, it’s probably three times the amount it was.  That’s the funny thing about time though, it’s all relative.  So I fill this giant bowl with cereal, and turn around to the fridge to grab the milk.

We have a little flashback here, to ten minutes earlier when I’m making coffee.  Get all the parts, empty the bag of beans, and throw it in the garbage.  (You can’t see it, because it’s my flashback, but there are very important details in the garbage.)

Back to the present.  Or the past.  The present of the past.  The fridge opens, and I look around for the milk, to complete my fantastic time bending breakfast.  It was perhaps half a second after opening the fridge, before even looking in, that I realized I had seen the empty milk carton, sad and discarded, laying amidst the rest of the trash. I continued looking desperately for more milk, or something else that resembled milk, but without any reasonable results.  My time traveling, soul soothing breakfast extravaganza failed, horribly and painfully.  Here I sit, eating dry Peanut Butter Crunch, saddened not only because Peanut Butter Crunch without milk is not very good, but because now I realize that every bite I take is one less bite that I could have taken with milk.

I learned what a CLM is:

Career Limiting Move

Here is the scenario:

John W° (boss) said:
do u know a free FTP program?

tj said:
http://www.justfuckinggoogleit.com/

John W° (boss) said:
u can go home now

Live and learn!

I did do some things.  They were pretty important, and life changing.  Not just my life, but other people’s lives.  Most of that stuff wasn’t at all funny though, so it really has nothing to do with this blog.  God damn life seems to keep going no matter how hard I sit still.  Kickball continues to be the championship force it should be, and an undeserved home run keeps the winner’s spirit alive.  It feels like there are more ideas building, alas, none of them are funny, at least, not until I fail at every last one of them.  Life tip here, turns out playing tippy-cup indoors makes for sticky floors.  Totally worth it.

I got a Wii, so hook it up.

2289 1278 2428 1169

Give me ur Wii numbers.

I was at the mega hipster concert at the state fair the other day, with Sonic Youth and The Flaming Lips. Even Wayne from the Lips said he was surprised to be playing a state fair, and wished there were shows like that where he grew up. Once the rain passed, the show was good, I liked Sonic Youth, and I probably should know more of their stuff than I do. But the Lips show was fantastic, and it just reminded me of what a great song ‘Do You Realize’ is. Schulte and I disagree on whether the song itself is happy (my opinion) or sad (his). The content of the song is ultimately sad:

Do you realize, that everyone you know someday will die
And instead of saying all of your goodbyes, let them know
You realize that life goes fast
It’s hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun doesn’t go down
It’s just an illusion caused by the world spinning round

I think it’s a positive outlook on an otherwise confusing and depressing topic (death).

There’s another song on the new album that I hadn’t really listened to, but has a very similar vibe.

They tell us “Autumn’s a comin’ and soon everything around us will die
Only a fool believes that he is different from the birds in the sky

I dig both songs, and I find myself stuck a fair amount on these topics lately, which I attribute to growing the hell up, and leaving things behind.  It’s good to hear that other folks are putting time in on it, and hearing others’ perspectives on the whole ordeal I believe is part of the point.  Also, when it’s backed up by some kicking tunes, and a crowd full of stoned out hippies, who are in their minds, really truly enjoying life, it can’t be bad for anyone.