blog of testiclese this is where the shit went down, but before you got here

[Before the start of this anecdote, there is some knowledge that needs to be shared, please read over the facts, and then continue down to enjoy my tale.]

Definitions:

• Ultimate Frisbee – a game for hippies involving a lot of chasing a spinning disc and smoking drugs.
• Swing / Dump – a maneuver in the game of Ultimate Frisbee in which the disc is thrown not forwards into risk, but backwords, towards safety and control.

[Thus begins our tale.]

I was at an Ultimate Frisbee tournament this weekend, on a team full of hooligans. While we weren’t running amok on the field, we were cheering on our teammates from the sidelines, offering suggestions of “HAMMER!” and “SWING!” or perhaps the occassional “CHILLY CHILLY!” These are all moderately helpful, or at least appropriate suggestions for the game of Ultimate Frisbee. I am not certain as to how the following events started, but I can say with a fair amount of shame, that I found myself caught up in the bedlam, instead of perhaps attempting to settling the raucous crowd. The second most commonly shouted phrase in Ultimate Frisbee is the call of “swing.” This first most common phrase is, “pass that shit over here!” In any event, one of the cohorts on the team of JJ’s Dynomite in a relapse to the third grade, suddenly realized the connection between the phrase “use your dump” and “take a dump” — with disastrous results. Soon everyone, or at least, three of us, were yelling at every opportunity, to “take a dump.” I apologize if there were any sensitive ears present, but I place full blame on the public school system.

Over the course of the last eight or so years, I’ve been amassing a collection of digital music.  In the days before mp3’s, I would listen to albums (cds) in their entirety.  I find lately that I spend more time skipping through randomly shuffled tracks, either on the iPod, on in winamp.  I think a touch of radness would be an app that brought back the album feeling, where you can visually scan your cd’s, grab an album, and give it a spin.  Otherwise, I worry that this song shuffle could progress, and I’ll be spending more time skipping songs than actually listening.  At the end of a long day of skipping tracks, I feel tired, and worn, not at all entertained.  Each new song that comes up aggravates me more than the last, until my Ritalin rattled brain decides that there is no music worth the bits it’s shifting, and I feel like I hate music, and I notes, and I especially hate singing.

1. New Job
2. New Commute
3. New Cube
4. New Mug
5. New Phone

I’d say I’m happy to be here, but I hate you.  This blog has been recreated, by hand, and keyboard, and a little bit of elbow grease.  Much obliged to Mister Schuler, without whom none of this would be possible.