Dear Coke,<\/p>\n
Can I call you Coke?\u00c2\u00a0 I feel like I’ve known you for so long.\u00c2\u00a0 Let me start this out by saying that I’m a huge fan of yours.\u00c2\u00a0 You are the beverage of choice for me, when I’m given the choice.\u00c2\u00a0 When I am asked, “Is Pepsi ok?”, I know the answer is no, Pepsi is terrible and I will not drink it.\u00c2\u00a0 The only thing that Pepsi has ever had on you is the commercials.\u00c2\u00a0 Fortunately, they don’t affect the taste.\u00c2\u00a0 You could have the most amazing commercials in the history of commercials, but you’re still drinking Windex. In any event, I write to you today not so much to sing your praises, but to plead with you.\u00c2\u00a0 There was a time, in our land, when a man could open a can of Coke without getting it on his hands, where he could comfortably sip a coke without a rush of fluids landing on his shirt and lap.\u00c2\u00a0 I’m talking about a time before the wide mouth can.\u00c2\u00a0 This wasn’t so long ago that no one remembers, but there was a time where no cans had wide mouths.\u00c2\u00a0 I hold Mountain Dew personally responsible.\u00c2\u00a0 This may have been the perfect move for them and their ‘extreme’ campaign, but it has ruined the joy of the soda drinking community.\u00c2\u00a0 They probably didn’t know that executives around the world would see this as an opportunity to force more soda down the throats of the consumers faster than ever before.\u00c2\u00a0 This is why I write to you today Coke, please, hear my prayer, and rid the good Coke Drinkers of the plague upon their soda.\u00c2\u00a0 Get rid of the wide mouth cans, get rid of the too fast pour, get rid of the sticky fingers upon opening.\u00c2\u00a0 You have it in your power, make it so.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Dear Coke, Can I call you Coke?\u00c2\u00a0 I feel like I’ve known you for so long.\u00c2\u00a0 Let me start this out by saying that I’m a huge fan of yours.\u00c2\u00a0 You are the beverage of choice for me, when I’m given the choice.\u00c2\u00a0 When I am asked, “Is Pepsi ok?”, I know the answer is […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-40","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.inebriated.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.inebriated.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.inebriated.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.inebriated.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.inebriated.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=40"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/blog.inebriated.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.inebriated.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=40"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.inebriated.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=40"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.inebriated.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=40"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}